IF

• If you can start the day without
  caffeine,
• If you can get going without pep pills,
• If you can always be cheerful, ignoring
  aches and pains,
  
• If you can resist complaining and
  boring people with your troubles,
• If you can eat the same food everyday
  and be grateful for it,
• If you can understand when your loved
  ones are too busy to give you anytime,
• If you can overlook it when those you
  love take it out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes
  wrong,
  
• If you can take criticism and blame
  without resentment,
• If you can ignore a friend’s limited
  education and never correct him,
• If you can resist treating a rich
  friend better than a poor friend,
• If you can face the world without lies
  and deceit,
  
• If you can conquer tension without
  medical help,
  
• If you can relax without liquor,
• If you can sleep without the aid of
  drugs,
  
• If you can say honestly that deep in
  your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or
  politics

          Then…. you are the family dog.

———————–

This must have been inspired by this classic:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and
not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap
of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with
crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling